For some people it might seem trivial, but for me it was almost defining.
I am a 30 year old mother of two, happily married to a husband who loves me for me. Nonetheless, I have always struggled with self-esteem issues. These self-esteem issues mostly centered around having small breasts. Being the youngest in my family, I can remember my sister developing at an n early age. She was a full C by the 6th grade. I anxiously waited in anticipation. 6th grade came, 8th grade graduation, high school graduation, still I was scarcely an A–cup. Now considering the fact that every woman in my family has been blessed with full breasts, I felt inadequate. I can´t really explain why the size of a person´s breasts should be so important to someone, but for me it is. I dated my husband for 15 years, and have been married for 6 years. He has always been happy with me the way I am. The thing is, this really has little to do with how others see me. It´s how I see myself.
I avoided certain clothes; a swim suit was completely out of the question. If I couldn’t stuff my bra under clothes, then I wouldn´t wear it. I had one pair of falsies I liked, which was discontinued. I had night mares that I would lose one or one might fallout in public. These falsies did help me feel better about myself, yet they were still limiting. I had to always be conscious of bending over for fear that someone might catch a glimpse at a falsie sticking out. After much thought and consideration, I decided to have breast augmentation surgery.
After doing some research on the internet, I scheduled an appointment to have a consultation with Dr. Dembny. I left the consultation feeling very informed and excited. I schedule my surgery before I left the office. However, days went by and anxiety over came me. The thought of surgery and the chance for complications started to give me second thoughts. I contemplated canceling my surgery. My husband was little help. He kept telling me loves me the way I am. Only I could make this decision. He will stand by whatever I choose, blah, blah, blah. The thing was, I knew I wanted this. I had wanted this for more than half my life. So why was this decision so hard? Finally, I called my mother for advice. She told me that if this is what I wanted, then I should do it. And so I did. I showed up for surgery on Tuesday, September 15, 2009.
I slept most of the day following my release from the hospital. I was in minimum pain due to the pain medication I was prescribed. The next day was much the same. By day two I was up and about. I took a shower and felt surprisingly OK. I remember just taking it easy for the next few days. By Monday, the 21st, I was back to work. Under doctors orders I couldn’t lift anything over 5 pounds. Aside from that, I was pretty much under little restrictions. I couldn’t believe that I had surgery less that one week before and I was already back to work. I remember a lady, who works in the same building as I do, say she wasn’t sure what it was about me but that I was “positively glowing.”
I am happy that I was asked to share my experience and perhaps help others make a decision that I too had struggle with. Life is full of many risks and rewards. I feel my decision to have elective surgery is something I´m proud of. Like I previously mentioned, I am not sure why the size of my meager breasts embarrassed me for more than half my life. For some people it might seem trivial. But for me it was almost defining.